what wine pairs with twinkies?

It is no secret in certain circles that at one notorious
office Christmas Party I received a Twinkie Making Kit
during the secret santa exchange, and that the culprit
responsible for this heinous gift kept her identity
a secret until through a diligent process of
elimination I was able to find her out, and promise revenge.
And it turns out, revenge is sweet.

I had forgotten how fake-angry I was until Carri's
daughter Eva pulled out the lady-fingeresque bake
pan from one of my cabinets along with the little
half-twinkie-half-cowboy plastic figurine/twinkie
storage device and said "whassiss?" Whassis, indeed.
Whassisdoinginmykitchenstill? The recipe booklet
fell out of the cabinet. I picked it up, expecting:

Ingredients
Enriched Wheat Flour - enriched with ferrous sulphate (iron)
B vitamins:
Niacin
Thiamine mononitrate [B1]
Riboflavin [B12] and
Folic acid
Sugar
Corn syrup
Water
High fructose corn syrup
Vegetable and/or animal shortening containing one or more of
Partially hydrogenated soybean
cottonseed or Canola oil
lard and
beef fat
Dextrose
Whole eggs
Contains 2% or less of:
Modified corn starch
Cellulose gum
Whey
Leavenings:
Sodium acid pyrophosphate
Baking soda
Monocalcium phosphate
Salt
Cornstarch
Corn flour
Corn syrup solids
Mono and diglycerides
Soy lecithin
Polysorbate 60
Dextrin
Calcium caseinate
Sodium stearol lactylate
Wheat gluten
calcium sulfate
Natural and artificial flavors:
Caramel color
Sorbic acid (to retain freshness)
Color added (yellow 5, red 40)

But instead, "flour, sugar, eggs, milk, baking powder."
Seriously? We had to try this. Of course, the recipe is
not THE recipe, so we were making twinkie-shaped
yellow cake, but it was fun to pretend.
Turns out I converted my baking supplies to
organic a while back, so as an added insult to Hostess,
they turned out to be Organic Twinkies, and we made
a chocolate sauce instead of the white...stuff.

This made me think: "I'll bet Hostess does this in
the next year or so. Cause everyone else is."
Even Wal-Mart is "going organic". As if.

Twinkie-making made for a nice evening.
We (the adults of course) drank a nice
Cabernet and had a good giggle about the whole thing.
In fact, the evening was so pleasant that I
consider my grievances aired and will not, in fact,
place a tofu and spinach- filled whole wheat version
of this otherwise harmless (ok, not harmless..)
treat outside the door of the sarcastic ms. claus.
This does not, however, preclude the best re-gifter
ever. And there are many culinary options to be had
in the aisles of Toys-R-Us. Many options indeed.






Oh this thing doesn't really work. I just felt like I was violating the poor thing.



Zelda and Eva wait patiently for dessert to be served.